one more....

                      it seems I justify the name of my blog 'lord of laziness' in the most apt way.......it took three months for this re-opening to occur and a lot of things have happened since february.......oh yeah tons of things....and so many have happened that I don't know where to start...career wise, it is time when i started saying(rather practicing to say) that am done with my under graduation and everything is done except my results getting out.....it was one month of an exam season...rather one heck of an exam season...and I could really know where I stand and how far I moved from the place where I remember myself standing........Never did it take long for me to realise that I had collapsed in academics and was in a rapid regression...but as they always say..."better late than never"....I figured out tunnels out of those books...If I had to make a confession I'd say I wasted a whole month and a couple of weeks in addition....but I managed filling papers....and hey...I got plenty of time to pray..lol.

                 Studies apart.....life has been teaching so much during these months that I feel I've learnt lots..and yet end up every such feeling with a conclusion that am still the same dumb arse...The best part is where you face people who,in past shared the core of your enjoyment,boredom,grief and bad situations and are now,the ones you don't give a fuck about...This initially seemed different(rather fun) to accustom to but the latter situations have been a crash-course on judging people.But on a whole....it was definitely something very good because it was then that I started to grow a feeling of realisation inside about my way of thinking....I atleast figured out that I needed to be a bit awake during day.This was one hell of a situation I loved a lot(yet I don't know why)

           And as I end up my graduation with all those fun,fights and farewell....I again stand before the situation I hate the most....yes..........its the so called "turning point of my career" again....and my impatience to wait till I jump into another level makes it feel even worse...But this seems inevitable...and I have to face it and fight it...Well, my advantage lies in the fact that I atleast realised rather figured out myself.All these days....I thought that I wasn't under my control because of that "her" thing but No.......thats not totally true....I've grown my list of addictions with age...and I need to get those self controls back in my hands at the quickest...cos its terrible when you get drowned in blank thoughts and yet can't do a bit about it.This was Lesson Three for this season but Lesson Four is what I find the best.Realising this was when I felt like I understood life...but a wave of doubt always follows.All these days, I was under an opinion or idea of expecting things in return when I do or intend to do something in any relationship ....and I did so only because I put some sweat in it....but I find this wrong these days.I realised that love or concern or affection or "whatever the world would call it" is all about giving...its just giving in tons....and forgetting it...but hey....you'll get back if you are lucky.......

Guess what ?am waiting for my luck to come.........peace